A Whole Lot of Not Thinking

[babygray]

It's been a weird week. I've been in a bad mood, but things have been going alright, I think.

Tuesday, I chatted with someone at work, and the talk filled me with a lot of energy. The lady I talked to is pretty much everything I want to be when I grow up (even if she is 10 years my junior): smart, lively, and really good with her hands. She even manned a table at a comic market last year to sell the Uta no Prince-sama dollies she made.

... I've always wanted to get a table at a comic market. My problem is, I don't think I can. I don't think I can draw enough to fill a fanbook. I don't think I can make cute things, at bulk or otherwise. I don't think I can speak enough Japanese to manage on my own. I don't think I'll manage to sell enough to justify getting a table. (That's a lot of not thinking, there.)

I half-thought of signing up for a table anyway. If I sign up for one, then I'll have no choice but to start being decisive and productive for once in my life. It would give me a goal/deadline to work towards.

But, then I remember just how good I am when it comes to deadlines, and how I excel at failing to meet them.

... Good grief, that's a lot of negativity.

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I had to work Saturday, so this weekend is a bit ruined. Sunday's the monthly local writer's meeting I sometimes attend, but I think I'll be staying home. I intend to write, but I might just end up sleeping instead.